Today is just one of those days. I have alot of time on my hands, so my mind is roaming into places it shouldn't go. I can't stop thinking about my Mom and how much I miss her. In the months before her death, she had some not so lucid moments. You'd call her on the phone, and she wouldn't know what time it was, or she wouldn't remember if she had eaten. A short time before she went into the hospital, she called me. She wanted to know if I would come up and take her to lunch. Well, the problem was that it was well after lunchtime, it would have taken me an hour to get there, and with her being a diabetic, she really should have eaten by then. I told her we would do it another day. Well, there never was another day. I am so angry at myself for not getting my ass in my car and driving there to take her to lunch. Eating became almost a religious experience for Mom, especially in her later years when she didn't cook as much as she used to and just ate frozen dinners. I remember taking her to Don Pablo's, and we got their "Chocolate Volcano" for dessert. We were supposed to share it. It was the first time she ever had one, and as she put that first bite in her mouth, you could see the pleasure on her face as her eyes closed, and she relished the moment of all the yummy chocolate deliciousness in her mouth. She then managed to innocently knock my fork out of the way each time I reached for a bite of my own. She was so funny! I also remember when Bill and I would take her to dinner, and she would always order "one Coors Light, please". That was a bond that she shared with Bill. I was being the watchful daughter, as she really shouldn't have had a beer being a diabetic, but Bill always said one wouldn't hurt. She would always look at Bill with a sweet, conspiratorial smile as she ordered the beer. There is so much I miss about her... those silly little moments you don't think about until that person is gone. If she were still alive, today would be one of those days when I would drive up there and spend the afternoon with her. She liked going to little gift shops, where she would buy a little teddy bear to add to her collection. We would go for Chinese at our favorite restaurant. It's not fair that I can't do this anymore. I feel as though I have been robbed of all those special moments. I don't want to think of her in the past tense anymore. I want her back.

Google! DayPop! This is my blogchalk: English, United States, Whitehall, Pennsylvania, Egypt, Margie, Female!

My Mom was a member of a penpal group for women born in the year 1930. I wrote this after she died for them to publish in their newsletter.

A Little About My Mom, Barbara Karampilas

*My Mom was born August 23, 1930 in Oxford, New York and died December 24, 2001 at Moses Taylor Hospital, Scranton, PA.

*She had a rough time during her first marriage, but did come out of it with three wonderful kids, Kathy, Peter and Bob.

*She met my Dad, Jack Karampilas, and a little while later, married him. First I was born, then my younger brother, Steve.

*My Mom and Dad owned a restaurant called "Coney Island Lunch" in Scranton, PA, which specializes in Texas wieners and hamburgers. My grandfather started the business in 1923. It is still open and satisfying hungry customers!

*Mom and Dad owned harness race horses, and for many years, travelled to race tracks in the Mid-Atlantic and New England states. Mom was an expert handicapper, and won many bets with her excellent calculations!

*In 1980, my Father bought 30 acres of land in Moscow, PA. There, they built their dream home, as well as a double apartment building for Pete and Bob (Now turned into a large single home owned by Pete), and a stable for horses.

*She was the proud Grandmother of five grandkids. John is Pete and Kathy's son, and will be graduating from high school in June. He was just accepted into Penn State for next Fall. Chris, Sandy and Mike are Kathy and Sandro's kids. Chris served as a Navy SEAL, and is now an officer and CERT team member in a PA prison facility. Sandy works hard in his job in a warehouse. Mike will be celebrating his 13th birthday on February 23, 2003. Bob Jr. Is Bob's son. He lives with his Mom, and is taking Karate classes.

*My Mom had the most beautiful smile. It glowed with love from her eyes. She could talk to anyone, and made all feel at home. My husband Bill said in the seven years he had known her, he never saw her angry, never heard her yell, and never heard her say "no". She had a good heart. She loved her animals. Through the years she has had horses, dogs, cats, rabbits and fish. Her last dog, "Tasha", is still at home wondering when Mom is coming home.

*Mom developed diabetes, became insulin dependent, and became plagued with diabetic-related problems for the rest of her life. She recieved dialysis treatments three days a week.

*My Father died May 17, 1994. He was Mom's best friend, and the love of her life. She spent every remaining day of her life missing him.

*Mom loved her penpals. She passed her love on to me. After she died, I went to her house to help clean. The place I started, and did get no further, was her seat at the end of the table where she wrote her penpal letters. I was amazed to see what she had kept. She had enough address labels to write 1000 letters. She had stickers, postcards, note cards and paper. She had kept just about every letter she had recieved. She had everyone's birthday and anniversary written down in a notebook. She kept every gift and tuck-in that her pals ever sent her. She obviously had many friend, because there were many tuck-ins!

*About two weeks before her death, my Mom was admitted to the hospital with a urinary tract infection. During a dialysis treatment, she began seizuring, and later it was found that she had a stroke. She was moved to ICU. One day, while I was visiting her, she was rambling on, and as much as I hated to admit it, she didn't know I was there. I just kept talking to her, and showed her the photo of my dogs with Santa Claus. Suddenly, she stopped talking and moving her head back and forth. She looked at the space above her head, her eyes focused, and all the lines disappeared from her face. She smiled the most radiant smile. At that moment, I knew she saw my Dad; that he had come to tell her everything would be ok. Then, as quickly as it started, it stopped, and she started rambling again. A few days later, she was moved out of ICU and into a regular room. On Christmas Eve, while Bill and I were at dinner, my brother Pete called and said I should get to Scranton quick, as Mom was having trouble breathing. She had a Living Will, and they had called for a priest. A while later, with still about 40 miles to go, Pete called back and told me it was too late, that Mom had passed.

*Mom had a great life. She brought into this world a wonderful family. I will always miss her. I will always be proud of and love my Mom, Dad and family. I want to thank all of you, her friends and penpals, for the joy you all gave her. Thank you sincerely.

Margie Veasey

The Friday Five which I just joined:

1) What's your lineage? Where are your ancestors from? On my Dad's side, I am German and Greek. On my Mom's side, I am Hungarian and Scots-Irish.
2)Of those countried, which one would you most like to visit? Well, I would have to say I would most like to visit Greece because of the ancient ruins and all of the history. I would also like to visit Scotland, too.
3)Which would you least like to visit? Well, my dream is to visit every country in Europe, but Germany is lower on the list than the others. There is no particular reason, really. I'd still like to go there, but it is not the first place I'd go.
4)Do you do anything during the year to celebrate or recognize your heritage? No, not really.
5)Who were the first ancestors to move to your present country? It is definitely the Scots-Irish ancestors. A relative of mine signed the Declaration of Independence (or so the story goes). My brother has been researching that side of the family, and quite a few of our ancestors also fought on both sides of the Civil War. The Hungarians came to the US (I believe) at the end of the 1800's, and my Greek grandfather came in the early part of the 1900's.

Fishy-Fishy!This is so cool... check out the live web cam at the New England Aquarium! It's like having your own aquarium, but instead of goldfish and guppies, you have tuna, sharks, giant turtles and more! I love it!

Went to the gym this morning. I think I overdid it a little... did over an hour of cardio work on the treadmill and on the elliptical rider. I felt good at the time, but now it is really hitting me. Maybe it was going out in the heat afterwards... it's draining to work out, and the heat drains you even more: I'm surprised there is anything left! They cancelled my favorite aerobics class, and I'm kind of bummed about that... the instructor, Katie, was very enthusiastic and helpful to uncoordinated people like myself! Oh well. Maybe I'll try salsa!

Now this is weird. Why would I dream that I was in a supermarket, shopping for things to dip in a fondue, and I saw one of my brothers dressed up as a woman? I knew it was him (I won't mention any names here to protect the innocent - namely me!), and I walked up to him and asked what he was doing, and he acted like he didn't know me. He had a curly brown wig and a smart blue business jacket with a short skirt! What would make me dream something as crazy as that? I woke up and got a good laugh out of it!

We went to PennDOT today in Dunmore to get Bill's new photo license. This time, we made sure he didn't wear a white shirt (the cameras are specially equipped to make you look dead if you wear white!). It took only 5 minutes, and "Voila!", you have a new license to use for the next four years! I am a little biased, but I think he looks so adorable in the new photo! They actually give you the choice of smiling. Years ago, you only had one chance, and they would say, "no smile and tilt your head back". Of course that made everyone's photos look like they belong on the FBI's most wanted poster! I'm glad they have had a change of heart!

I received the coolest belated birthday gift in the mail today. It went to the old house and wasn't forwarded to the new house, so I had to go to the ol' landlord Joanne's to get it. I'm on an email list via yahoogroups called "2000pals". Members send each other little gifts for birthdays and such. Well, Kim Al-Hummoud, an American married to a Kuwaiti, living in Kuwait, sent me the most beautiful miniature woven rug, measures about 5 inches by 10 inches. The little enclosure card says "Arabian Miniature Wooven Carpet: These carpets are wooven exactly as same design as the original carpet. This art of weaving is highly appreciated all over the world and the art of design in floral and other style is native to Araba, Persia (Iran), Pakistan, Afghanistan, Turkey, Kashmir (India)." It's so exquisite! It's very highly detailed... it's amazing they have a loom small enough to do this work!

See the rug!

Is There A Reason?

You have to wonder about a few things. I guess it's the age old question about free will or having your life already mapped out for you. I have felt more creative in the past few days than I have in a very long time. I know there are times when you just can't come up with a new idea for the life of you, but I feel different this time. In college, I had two very good friends, Kim and Sheila. The three of us were art majors, and we did alot of fun and crazy things together. But, life happens and you grow apart. Usually, there was not a day that passed that I didn't think of them, and wonder what they were doing. Then, a few months ago, I stumbled across Sheila's email address on a search engine. I emailled her, and she was happy to hear from me. Since then, we email each other a few times a week, or sometimes a few times a day. It feels like we never skipped a beat... That's how you know you've got a good friend there. We have plans of meeting in September. Suddenly, one day, I get an email from her telling me to guess who she just talked to on the phone... KIM! I almost fell off my chair. Kim is living in Washington with her husband Tony and two kids. I emailled her, and received a reply back already! Why am I writing this? Well, is there a chance that Sheila and Kim have inspired my creativity? Did I become friends with them all those years ago because we were all meant to support and inspire each other for the rest of our lives? What made me look up Sheila's address? What made Kim call Sheila? They remind me of a wonderful time in my life when all we did was make art (and drink alot, but that's besides the point! LOL!). I know there are stagnant periods in terms of ability to or desire to create. But thanks to them, I remember that I am a good artist, and art is what I should be doing. I want to bring joy or happiness or a fond memory into a persons life when they look at my art. It is such a wonderful feeling when someone wants to own something you have made. There is alot of opportunity out there... I need to find it. Friends are like touchstones that bring us back to our starting point, to remind us of the goodness in us. You remember the good times. You remember the reasons why you were their friend in the first place. To Kim and Sheila, if you guys read this, THANK YOU!

Is there a reason, years ago, I decided to take a part time job at Montgomery Wards department store in Scranton? I, who only worked in the family restaurant, went looking for a part-time job. Hmmm.... Let's see. Could it be that I did that because I was supposed to meet Bill, my life's love, there? I think so. I'm starting to believe everything happens for a reason. You meet someone because they are the touchstone for a whole new experience. Ready, Set, GO! You are now off on a new adventure. I am with a man who loves me so much, that he is willing to let me make my art. He believes in me that much. I am so lucky. I have such opportunities. I'm so happy right now. I also have a new guardian angel now, watching over me... my Mom. I know she is looking out for me, just like she did in life.

There is something about playing miniature golf with friends in the middle of a hot summer day! Yes, it was so hot you felt like your skin was melting off you. Yes, your normally wavy hair slowly curled into a frizzy afro as the humidity wreaked havoc on you. Yes, you wish the water features were a little bigger and deeper so that you could submerge your whole body instead of just your feet. But hey, you were with two great friends, Dora and Kelly, and your big-footed mini-golf cheating husband (he kept using his feet to block our balls as they were heading into the cup... jealous that we were so good, hmm?!). Dora and Kelly are the kind of friends that you know you will have for the rest of your life. You don't have to see them all the time, but when you do meet up, it's a natural feeling, like you were just with them the day before. We had to stop playing as it was so hot, we couldn't take it anymore. King Kone beckoned us, with the promise of yummy ice cream to help us cool off. It was delicious!

I'm exceptionally artistic!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

Just got back from dinner with Bill. We went to Lone Star. The food was ok, but the waitress was very nice! She arranged the onion slices on my salad into the shape of a heart! I thought that was so cute! I think she did it because we commiserated with her about her 12 hour day. We made her feel good and told her that she was doing a great job. Sometimes, people, especially waitresses, need to hear that!

I was taking the garbage out (tomorrow's garbage day), and I saw two kids on their scooters. They live down the block from us. I like them because on the Fourth of July (which was only a couple weeks after we moved into our house), they came over with a platefull of S'Mores that they made just for us. They invited us over to their house, because a couple of the fathers were lighting fireworks. I thought that was so nice of them. I talked to the parents a little bit, and learned that they were both artistic kids, and liked to do crafts. Today when I saw them, I told them to come in the garage. I had a box of rubber stamps that my Mom and I used to "play with". I don't use them anymore, so I thought the kids would like them. I said take as many as you want. I think they thought it was Christmas in July! I gave them each a large Ziploc bag, and they both filled them to the brim! I'm glad that they could get some use out of them! They said they would bring me something they make with the rubber stamps. I think it's important to let kids use their imagination and be creative. I feel good!

Creative Day

What started out as a somewhat quiet day, ended up being fairly creative! It started out with me doing some thumbnail sketches for a logo for an idea that Bill had. Then I started working on my drawing, and everything started to flow. I was stumped as to how I wanted to do the background of my daisy drawing, but today, it all just started to happen. Maybe it's the music I was listening to. I set the downstairs and upstairs tvs to the same DirectTv music channel, so I had the music throughout the whole house (a version of surround sound!). I'm hooked on the "easy listening" channel. I usually draw to classical, or rock or cool jazz. But now I am drawing to what is basically elevator music, and I'm loving it! Hey, whatever works, right? I also had an idea of going around to my neighbors and asking for their kids to trace their hands onto a paper for me. I'm not sure what I want to do, but I feel like I have to do it. The idea of all the hands somehow intertwined in my drawing is stuck in my head. I usually do highly realistic work, but this seems more "abstract", and necessary to my next step as an artist. Maybe this all has something to do with going to the Allentown Art Museum last week with L. When we were in the American gallery, I was confronted by a huge (we are talking floor to ceiling) "portrait" of an owl, painted in almost an impressionistic style. I don't remember the artists name, but I do remember how it made me feel. Who would think that the painting would be as powerful as it was? This huge owl with piercing eyes, somehow looking inside you. All this seemed to get my gears going again!

Quote of the day:
"Painting. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic". Ambrose Bierce.

Quote #2
"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up." Pablo Picasso.