The cool manager Tom was the closing manager Saturday night. Why is he cool? Well, normally, our unsold bread and sweets are given to charity every night after we close. For the past few weeks, they people who usually pick up the stuff haven't been showing up. We've been throwing all the good stuff away (I guess they are looking for a new shelter to donate it to). Well, Tom lets us bring the stuff home until they choose a new place. I have three cheese bread, cinnamon raisin, asiago bread, basil pesto foccaccia, and rosemary and onion foccaccia! The breads are SO good! I don't know if we can eat all of it, but we will try! ;)

When the township guys came around and plowed our street, they made a playground for all the kids! My house is the last house on a cul-de-sac. I guess because it's easy to point your plows at my house, I ended up with a huge pile of snow next to my mailbox. When I was leaving for work yesterday, all the kids where there playing. When I got home last night, they must have played all day, because there wasn't one spot of untrampled snow in my front yard! Am I complaining? Not really! I'm jealous! I want to get a sled and slide down that snowpile! Kids are so lucky!

I'm desperately trying to get my Christmas cards done. I have a bunch that need to go overseas. I have no gumption to get it finished. Everytime I start the cards, I start thinking about Christmas's past, and how different my Christmas will be this year without my Mom.

There is a weirdness in me... it won't go away. When I know it's snowing heavily and the roads are dangerous to drive on; even though the house is all warm and toasty and I could make yummy hot chocolate; even though I know half the stores are closed: it doesn't matter. I want to go for a ride. I blame my father for it. He always wanted to be the first one to make tracks on an unplowed road. He would always "drag" me along, and it would be fun. Never mind we could have gone off the road, into a ditch, plowed under with snow, and never found again! It was an adventure!

Well, I made Bill take me out to dinner. (Yes, I had things that I could have made for dinner, but it didn't matter... it was as if they didn't exist!). All the roads around my home were not plowed. The secondary roads were plowed maybe once, but snow had fallen on them and buried them again. Most of the stores, except the mall, Best Buy and Circuit City, were closed. Half of the restaurants were closed. We finally chose Don Pablo's for Mexican/Southwestern. Our waiter arrived when we did. He said he was called in to work on his day off. Even so, he was nice enough to give us a coupon for a "buy one get one free" deal on a new pasta dish they have. He was very nice and personable. Bill left him a very good tip (basically the amount we saved with the coupon), and wrote on the bottom of the reciept "Sorry you had to work!". It's crazy people like me who cause poor people like our waiter to have to work! I wanted to go to Borders and look for some new magazines, but they were closed! Oh well! At least I didn't have to cook! (hee hee!)

It's snowing and I am loving it! It's so pretty! Of course, I don't have to go anywhere, so that makes it better! I bought a bird feeder the other day, and attached it to my deck. Too bad the birds haven't found it yet... it's days like this when they need it! (yes, I'm a nut for feeding the birds!).

I just found this Christmas book, buried under a pile of junk in my office. Reading through some of the lists, you do get a warm and fuzzy feeling! I originally bought the book to give me inspiration for some Christmas cards I'd like to design. Here's some of the "Things We Love About Christmas":

• little girls with black patent leather shoes and lacy white anklet socks
  
• snowmen made from marshmallow
  
• snowflake stars
  
• a Christmas moon shining on snow
  
• a "Charlie Brown" Christmas tree (the only kind my Mom and I would allow in her house when I lived there. We'd always pick the tree that no one else wanted. It ended up being the most beautiful tree!)
  
• a bowl of nuts in the shell
  
• a driveway outlined by Christmas lights
  
• snow globes
  
• the way colored Christmas lights look when you scrunch up your eyes and make them blurry
  
• Advent candles
  
• family photos in front of the tree
  
• soap-on-a-rope (the annual gift for Dad!)
  
• candles in the window
  
• everyone saying "Open mine next!"
  

Please feel free to add your favorite winter holiday tidbits to my comments. I'd love to read them!

Of the 10 houses on my block, mine was the only one that didn't have any holiday decoration on it! Well, now that has changed. Bill was off from work today, so we drove to the Lowe's in Reading (kinda got lost while there, because all the new roads that were built in the six years since we lived there) and bought some Christmas decorations! It's so funny... we were there for nearly two hours, making sure we were picking out the right stuff! All my window have lights in them, and it looks so festive! We had to buy a new tree, too. We didn't put up a tree last Christmas because of my Mom being sick and then passing away. I was looking at all the ornaments and lights and such at Lowe's, and I was torn between being happy about the upcoming holiday, and missing my Mom. I know she would want me to enjoy the holiday, but that is easier said than done when your memories of her come flooding into your head. Anyway, our new tree came complete with hundreds of white lights already attached. I set that up too (without the ornaments... I'll finish that tomorrow), and it looks so pretty. I'll take some photos when it's done.

This Or That Tuesday, Gift buying version!

1. Go out and buy gifts, or shop online/mail order? Next year it's all gonna be online. I hate the holiday traffic around the malls.
2. Gift cards/certificates or pick out gifts? It's a mix of both... depends on who's getting it.
3. Pay cash or charge holiday gifts? We try to pay cash, but this year some is going on credit cards.
4. Are most of your gifts mailed or given in person? I wish some of them were mailed, but no, they are given in person.
5. Are you an early-bird or last-minute holiday shopper? Definitely last minute. We bought two gifts today, and I think it's the earliest I ever shopped for Christmas!
6. If you shop in stores...big chain stores or smaller specialty stores? That also depends on the gift. I like smaller specialty stores, because it gives the gifts a chance to be more unique.
7. Wrap gifts yourself or have them wrapped at the store or mall? I'm not a good wrapper, and it's my least favorite part of the holiday, so anytime a store offers free gift wrapping, and the line isn't too long, I take advantage of it!
8. Shopping on *Black Friday* (day after Thanksgiving)...did you or didn't you? Didn't and never will!
9. Is your holiday gift list large or small? It's smaller this year because we drew names in Bill's family.
10. Is it better to give or to receive? It's better to give... to open your heart to others. It doesn't always have to be about gifts, either.

I went walking with the dogs on the Ironton Trail today. It didn't last long. My Dalmatian turned into a complete nutso, so I went back home. I don't know what to do. He isn't one of those goofy Dals, or at least he has never been. When ever we walk and see another dog, he goes crazy, barking, and jumping and snapping at the other dog. Even if the other dog does nothing. Today he was the worst he's ever been. I could barely control him. It's not like he isn't used to other dogs. He's around them enough. I don't know what to do. I went online to look for a muzzle or something to put on him so we could walk safely, but I read a warning that they should only be on them for about 20 minutes at a time. He's a perfectly normal dog at home and in his backyard. But when we are out, you'd swear I'm walking "Cujo"!

Yesterday was a horrible day at work. I got yelled at by one of my co-workers in front of customers. To me, that's the worst thing to do. I'm embarrassed, and we all look unprofessional. This isn't the first time I got yelled at by co-workers. It isn't even that I do anything wrong. It's just that I'm in their way. They are just a bunch of cocky teenagers who think they rule the world. I always have a cheery attitude, I'm always nice to them, and this is what I get. I work very hard (harder than I should for what I get paid!). I don't need to be told to do something... I take the initiative. Even all of the managers act as if everyone is a half-wit. It's very stressful. I'm not used to working in an environment where you are treated like an inferior. Alot of people quit... they are actually 15 employees under the amount they are supposed to have. I was nearly number 16.

I gave my notice. I think I shocked the heck out of my manager. It started after the guy yelled at me. I said to the manager that I can't take this anymore. He turned to me and said "Take them all with you!", and then walked away. I was so mad (I always get tears in my eyes when I get very angry... I really hate that!). Silently I started to debate what to do. There are some good times with the few people I get along with, and I enjoy interacting with the customers. But after thinking a bit, I realized the negatives outweighed the positives. This job was supposed to be something for me to when Bill works (and he works alot!). Just a little "mad" pocket money, to let me buy some things I really don't need! After we closed the place, I counted my drawer, and took it to the manager's office. As I handed it to him, I told him that I was going to finish out the week, and that's it. He spun around in his chair and asked if I was going to let that guy (the one who yelled at me) bother me that much. I told him it's not only that. It's the sniping of the managers. It's being the only person running a register. It's getting yelled at by the other "kids". It's not getting help when you need it. And so on, and so on. He asked me not to leave. He said he would really hate to see me go, and continued with his "please don't go" spiel.

I walked out of the office, and continued cleaning up the place so I could go home. Two co-workers, who actually like me and make the job fun, came up to me and asked me if I was leaving. When I told them yes, they started giving me pep talks about why I should stay, and that they like working with me, and stuff. The guy who yelled at me came up to me and apologized. I guess you can see where this is going. I rescinded my notice. But I did decide to work one less day per week. I told the manager that this is just a trial basis, to see how it goes. Though I didn't tell him this, my original intent was to work through the Christmas/New Year season only. I also sell on Ebay, and I could make decent money doing that alone. My problem is I care too much. It's like a "mother hen" complex... I don't want anyone to feel bad. So I guilted myself into staying. I seriously need to get over this.

My Positives
-I have a husband who understands me.
-When I don't have time to cook, he doesn't mind Subway!
-He loves my banana nut bread.
-I love the snowfall!
-All the houses decorated with holiday lights already!
-Two little girls who came into work, all dresses in pretty red velvet dresses, for their Christmas photos... so cute!
-Being able to laugh with a few people at work.
-Having a brother who cooks the weirdest recipes and isn't afraid to ask everyone to try it!
-Snowmen!
-Tare Panda!
-Cuddling on cold mornings.
-Getting Snail Mail!

I pulled my car into the larger parking lot across from my work today, and a very strange thing occured. Though we are at least 75 miles from the nearest beach, the entire parking lot was covered with seagulls! There must have been at least 100 seagulls there! I always feel bad when I see them, because I think they took a wrong turn and now can't find their way back to the sea. I carefully and respectfully drove around them, making sure not to disturb them. I put my car into "park", turned off the engine and looked into my purse to make sure I had everything I needed. I went to open my door, and I stopped cold. The seagulls didn't like the presence of my car. Some started to walk towards it, then one flew up in the air, and of course the rest started to follow! They didn't fly away, but instead, started circling my car! It was like being in the latest version of Hitchcock's "The Birds". You couldn't use a crow bar to get me out of that car! I sat there for nearly 5 minutes until the seagulls got whatever it was bothering them out of their system. After they settled down, I slowly opened the door and got out. Only one gull pooped on my car, and it looks like he had a very big lunch! Phew! I briskly walked across the lot, while constantly checking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't being chased! I never thought I would be happy to get to work!